So Little Kid and I went to the gym today. I dropped her off in playcare and headed for the bathroom. With me I had my usual gym accessories: my Bose earbuds, a People magazine, and my iPhone.
Without even thinking about it, I reached into the toilet (see I told you the TMI was relevant) UP TO MY ELBOW to try to pull them out, but they were gone in a flash. I just stood there in shock. These were not your standard run of the mill earbuds. These were BOSE. Top of the line, and a 30th birthday present from my husband. They cost $100, and I just flushed them down the toilet. This fail is beyond the Fail Whale. This fail is EPIC.
So I stumbled out of the bathroom (after washing my hands- and arm, of course) and called The Engineer. Thankfully, he is the sort who laughs at me, instead of berating me for basically just flushing a hundred bucks down the drain. He did point out that at least it was not my phone that I had dropped. I probably would have fainted in the stall if I had dropped my phone into the toilet. Of course, he then had to let me go so he could go tell his co-workers about the spazz whom he had married. Happy 8th Anniversary!
I almost packed it up and went home. I was so despondent. But I have been eating like a truck driver this weekend and was in dire need of some cardio. So I was on the elliptical, sulking, and I stop dead in my tracks. It hit me that I had reached into the toilet- the industrial strength flushing toilet- WITH MY LEFT HAND. My left hand that was wearing my engagement ring and wedding band. It could have easily sucked my rings off of my finger. I grabbed my rings just to make sure that they were still there. Whew! My earbuds I can lose, but I cannot fathom losing my rings- on my wedding anniversary, at that.
Strangely, that made me feel better. I realized that it could have been so much worse. But I am still convinced that I do not need to own nice things. Because whenever I own nice things, I either sit on them or wash them in the washing machine or throw them away in a McDonalds bag- in a different state, so I cannot even go back through the garbage and retrieve my Ray Ban sunglasses later when I realize that they are missing. Now, I can add flushing down the toilet to my list. So I have decided from now on, I will be exclusively shopping here as penance for my follies.