8.21.2014

Friday Not-So Favorites

While writing about your favorite things is fun and positive and life-affirming and yammer yammer yammer, sometimes you learn just as much about a person from their least favorite things. So for today, I give you: My Friday Five (Not-So) Favorites:

via Katie's Funnies board on Pinterest

1. Talking on the phone

I seem to have developed a phobia about talking on the phone. When someone leaves me a voice mail to return their call, I experience a spike of anxiety. Seriously. Same thing when my phone rings. I even programmed a happy ringtone to try to counteract the dread I feel every time my phone rings.

2. Ironing clothes

I intentionally buy clothes that do not need to be ironed due to my anti-ironing stance. I have also been known to take shirts to be pressed at the dry cleaner rather than iron them myself. They do a much better job anyway.

3. My kids whining about having no one to play with

I ranted to The Engineer the other night about this very thing while we walked the dog. I am sure that is exactly what he wanted to experience after a long, stressful day at work. Wife of the year, 2014. Here's the thing. Due to our close proximity to their school, we have a ton of kids in our neighborhood. They are everywhere, coming out of the woodwork. I did not have that when I was a kid. We lived in a small neighborhood out in the county and there were only two other houses besides us who even had kids our age. So if my kids want to piss me off as quickly as possible, they should come to me and complain that they don't have anyone to play with.

Last week Little Kid played with I believe four different kids - maybe five - and then had the nerve last weekend to complain that she never has anyone to play with. Her brother is the one who as soon as his buddy leaves the house, makes a beeline to me to ask if he can go to another buddy's house. No! You cannot! Spend some time getting to know yourself!


4. When my dog poops during his walk

I have a confession to make. We have a poop service come and clean up the yard each week. I promise you that I am not as hoity toity as that sounds. When we moved in our home, we moved from a large back yard to a much smaller one. In Tennessee, Baxter had a corner where he pooped and we, having plenty of space, avoided that corner. When we moved here he decided that his bathroom spot was beside the kids' swing set. Not the best of choices. So I purchased a pooper scooper (in TN, I used a shovel and tossed it into the cow field behind our neighborhood) and proceeded to try to DIY. But Bax was a prolific twice a day pooper. The neighborhood kids stopped coming to play in our yard because they complained that they always got poop on their shoes. Our neighbor stopped letting her daughter play in our backyard because of it. I was horribly embarrassed.

The poop company is super nice, does a fantastic job and it is not that expensive. But when Fletch poops during the walk, I tell him that we are not getting our money's worth.

The worst thing is when the dog poops but I have forgotten my bag. So we run home to get it but I am always afraid that someone is looking out their window and thinking, "That horrible woman is just leaving the poop in the middle of the sidewalk!" I always want to yell out, "I promise, I am coming back!"

5. People who do not return phone calls/emails

That is my work peeve. Because if I can do it (and remember #1), they can too. I would rather them call/email me back to tell me, No, I cannot do A - B - C than leave me hanging. At least if I receive a negative, I can go in a different direction.

Honorable Mentions:
Running + Sore throats + Current pop music + Deoderant stains + Brushing the tangles out of Little Kid's hair + Blackspot on my roses + Country fried steak + Hypocrisy + Stepping on tiny toy pieces + Scratchy towels + Sand in my house + Dental work + Whole milk + Michael Bay movies + Omelets + Ted from How I Met Your Mother + Extreme political views + Salad + Wal Mart + Thong underwear + Fish + Russell Crowe

That was rather cathartic. Happy Weekend!


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10 comments:

  1. This is the best list ever! I agree with so many of the items on your list. Happy weekend.

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    1. Thank you! My husband said, "That is a long list." Ha!

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  2. Love this. I sat down to write my favorites last night and I just walked away because all I could think about was the fact that I STILL have to remind my kids to brush their teeth and put on shoes in the morning, and that the homework battles have already started. So I walked away from that post! Oh, also, can I recommend a Wet Brush for brushing out hair? It's the only brush that doesn't make my daughter SCREAM when I brush her hair. (And I bought one for myself. It's the best!) http://amzn.to/1sa0dg9

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  3. You're hilarious, Katie! This post totally cracked me up.

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  4. Awesome! I agree with all except #3 because M isn't old enough for such harassment yet, but I know it's coming particularly because she's an only child. Hey, please text me the name of your dog poop removal service whrn you have a moment. May I add: 1) people who do not RSVP to social / party invitations (the worst offenders being those who actually attend the event, but never RSVP'd - seroiously?!) and 2) people who do not have a ful and signature block at the end of their work /professional emails to include their return telephone number, mailing address, and fax number. Thanks! !

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  5. Oh and #3 - people who use their cell phones to post comments on blogs that are full of typographical errors because of the tiny keyboards on cell phones. Just like the previous comment! My apologies!

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  6. I don't mind ironing but do try and buy clothes that don't need it.

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  7. Of someone I don't know (or someone I do but wasn't expecting) calls, I usually don't answer and hope they leave a voicemail so at least I can have some idea why they're calling. I need time to memorize what I'm going to say when I call back. The baby has been extremely helpful in my phone answering avoidance. "I'm sorry I couldn't answer when you called. The baby was fussing/rolling over for the first time/reciting the Gettysburg address."

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