word of the year: 2015

This is the third year that I have participated in the Word of the Year meme on the blog. I have to admit that I have found setting a theme for the year much more achievable than New Years resolutions. I can look back and see where I made positive changes in previous years based on my singular goal. In 2013, I was determined to put myself out there and try to build my writing career and on April 1, I went to work for the newspaper. Last year I did manage to strike a good balance and  not drop as many balls in the work + home juggle as the previous year, so I would consider 2014's word a win also.

This year's word:

2015: resilience

Resilience can mean many things but for me, it basically boils down to developing a thicker skin this year. That is something that has always plagued me. The Bestie and I have had numerous conversations over many years about how we both have a bad habit of internalizing other people's feelings and comments and letting them affect us. I take things too personally, always have.

It has taken age and maturity to come to the conclusion that this is really a narcissistic point of view. That my very being can affect someone else's actions when in reality there is so many other things in their lives that affects their interactions with me.

I think it also has to do with control and a need to control all aspects of life, when in reality you cannot control someone else's actions. Not everyone is going to like me, and not everyone is going to agree with me and that is really okay -- not to get too Stuart Smalley up in here.

Example: I have a bad habit of asking for The Engineer's opinion and then when he gives it to me, trying to argue him into agreeing with me. Or I take it personally and assign a whole bunch of subtext to his opinion. I can't seem to just let us disagree. But sometimes there is no right and wrong -- there is simply a difference of opinion. Just because he does not agree with me does not make my opinion less valid. This year I will take more at face value, I will not assign hidden meanings to everything and I will not overanalyze. So really I am using resilient as my Word of the Year only because it sounds better than Un-Overreacting.

Wish me luck! Okay, enough navel gazing for today, yeesh. Happy Weekend!

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